[TriLUG] OT: Firewall The Movie.

[Shane O'Donnell]

Haven't you guys ever seen a Hollywood-created high-tech blockbuster? 
There are a few key rules that must be followed:

  1)  Must show blinking command prompt.  Preferrably, command prompt from a VAX
  2)  All commands must be actual commands in DOS 3.3+
  2a)  One exception to rule 2 is that "login" is a universally
acceptable command
  2b)  "login" has only two possible responses:  "Access Denied" or a
half-screen ASCII art banner of the system name or government
department to whom the system belongs
  3)  Regardless of the year, all screen shots must be of a Macintosh
Classic running any of System 6.8 through 7.2
  3a)  This is especially critical of system errors or if the system
has been hacked, in which case, the screen shot must be of the "system
bomb" from System 6.8
  4)  All computers are capable of accessing and  freezing full-motion
video streams.  Preferrably, all graphical images are viewed in a new
window created on top of a monochromatic full-screen command-line
interface (See #1 above).
  4a)  All graphics, regardless of original source, can be "zoomed in"
and the smallest, blurriest detail in the original image can be
expanded by at least 10x at greater clarity than the original image.
  4b)  This should be used as much with license plates and taxi cab
badge numbers as possible--even if it's not central to the plot
  5)  All Wide-Area Network technologies should be referred to as a "T-1".
  6)  Any data, regardless of how or where it's been stored and how it
has been deleted, is at least partially recoverable.
  7)  All system administrators must have at least two major character
flaws, of which one must be pomposity.  The other is recommended to be
some sort of physical defect, including obesity or poor eyesight.

And I'm not really confident as to whether #7 is a law of Hollywood or
a Law of Nature.


Shane O.


On 12/21/05, Chad Thomsen <chad.thomsen at gmail.com> wrote:
> No no no... Ya see Microshaft is too easy to hack due to the amount of
> patches folks forget to put on there systems.  Cisco will throw there
> product in there and as a sub plot of the movie there will be thieves trying
> to get a hold of the cracked cisco IOS that made the headlines many months
> ago.
>
> On 12/21/05, Barry Gaskins <barry.gaskins at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >    Except I bet that microsoft probably paid them to have these secure
> > systems running on windows.  The linux community does not have any money
> > to
> > pay for product placement in movies.  So I bet you will not see any
> > pengiuns
> >
> >    - Barry
> >
> > On 12/21/05, Ian Meyer <ianmeyer at mac.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
> > > Hash: SHA1
> > >
> > > See, here I was thinking, wow, Firewall The Movie! Now I can finally
> > > see, in cinematic quality, what like as iptables is really like!
> > >
> > > Rats.
> > >
> > > ~ian
> > >
> > > On Dec 21, 2005, at 12:01 PM, Alan Porter wrote:
> > >
> > > > Chad Thomsen said the following:
> > > >
> > > >> http://firewallmovie.warnerbros.com/
> > > >>
> > > >> Looks interesting.  Wonder when it will be out?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I'll wait for the sequel, "OpenVPN".
> > > >
> > > > Denzel Washington must generate a 1024-bit SSL certificate
> > > > to tunnel into the intranet of his former employer, a defense
> > > > contractor that is about to sell the US Air Force a shipment
> > > > of missiles that have a serious Y2K software glitch.  Meanwhile,
> > > > terrorists from Tajikistan have planted spyware on his laptop.
> > > >
> > > > Can he close the endless stream of pr0n pop-ups in time to
> > > > restore mouse focus on his Putty session?  Or will he get
> > > > distracted and order some Human Growth Hormone from a phishing
> > > > site?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > <gag>
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Alan
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --
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--
Shane O.
========
Shane O'Donnell
shaneodonnell at gmail.com
====================