[TriLUG] Code of Conduct

[Cristóbal Palmer]

On 8/13/07, Steve Litt <slitt at troubleshooters.com> wrote:
>
> I think a hallmark of a functional LUG is the ability to handle differences of
> opinion with grace and good humor, and I think such handling of differences
> is better and creates a richer LUG than unanimity born of obligation.

Well put. Do you not think that the sentence, "The important goal is
not to avoid disagreements or differing views but to resolve them
constructively," covers your criticisms? I'm asking seriously because
I think the spirit of your sentiment is already there, but the
sentence(s) could be changed to meet your criticisms. I just want to
be sure of what your criticisms are.

So, how would you revise the passage? If you'd rather simply offer
changes to Matt, I totally understand. I guess my perception is that
"resolve" (in the passage above) doesn't necessarily mean eliminating
disagreement. Rather, it means bringing closure and finding a way
forward.

Furthermore, I think one of the main motivations for this CoC is to
guide our approach as a group and as individuals to disagreements and
challenges. To that end, I'd like to add this quote:

"If two people in a group have a conflict, encourage them to work it
out privately. Do not use the group time to attempt to resolve it. If
necessary, offer a third party as a mediator. But as soon as you bring
the conflict into the group, you multiply the dynamics and possible
alliances, manipulations and new conflicts to infinity. Shame and
humiliation also come into play. E-mail listserves and bulletin boards
have illuminated this principle. People too often try to use the
listserve, and by extension, the community, as a court of judgement
instead of dealing directly and privately with another person. When
groups are used in this way, whether they are face-to-face groups or
virtual gatherings, they lose energy and rapidly lose membership."
  --Miriam Simos. /The Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion
of the Goddess: 20th Anniversary Edition/. p.270. San Francisco:
Harper Collins.

I hope the above is helpful.

Cheers,
-- 
Cristóbal M. Palmer
celebrating 15 years of sunsite/metalab/ibiblio:
http://tinyurl.com/2o8hj4