[TriLUG] The biggest deterrent for women in tech

[William Sutton]

>From what I saw at my computer science program from 1996-2000 at Auburn, 
the CS/CPE department guidance counsellor was an idiot who did not 
understand the curriculum tracks and did not pay attention to what majors 
her students were in WRT the curriculum tracks.  I paid attention to mine 
and got sorted out OK, but we had numerous classmates (usually, sad to 
say, female) who had been misadvised by said guidance counsellor, and who 
had to be straightened out by the rest of us (male and female) as to what 
courses were required by what majors.

>From what my wife tells me, her HS guidance counsellor was similarly ill 
informed/unattentive to the classes required for graduation, and only told 
her mid-way through her senior year that she was supposed to have been 
enrolled in Algebra rather than whatever math class she was in at the 
time.

I think the takeaways are:
1. Don't rely on the school guidance counsellor to know what you need; do 
your own research and be informed and active about your own path.
2. School guidance counsellors (often female, in my experience) aren't 
actively sabotaging other women...they just do a lousy job, regardless of 
student gender.
3. Parental involvement (or some sort of surrogate) needs to happen early 
and often, and its importance cannot be overestimated (this is true of 
other subjects than education, as well).

Regarding your other remarks about patronizing male management...I hate to 
say it but
1. The males that seem to make it in management seem to come from the 
alpha male, frat boy culture.  Unfortunately, that seems to be the same 
group that thinks that if you don't have a penis, you don't have any 
worth.  :-(
2. Even more sadly, they probably honestly believed that they were taking 
a helpful paternal interest in your future...which seems pretty 
condescending considering they weren't actually your father and clearly 
didn't have your best interests at heart.

William Sutton

On Tue, 30 Apr 2013, Linda Gardea wrote:

> So I see a lot of male perspectives :)
>
> As a woman in tech, I can think of numerous times where gender has played
> into setting the expectations of others, in ways that I found hindering and
> annoying.  This did not die in the 90s!!  Here are a few examples:
>
> 1. When I was starting college (1999) and told an adviser that I wanted to
> pursue computer science, the response I got was general discouragement,
> being told it was a very challenging and difficult area of study.  I got
> some numbers on how high the failure rates were and not really any kind of
> plan on how to achieve my goals.  When I was insistent, I noted this
> adviser seemed to lose interest in helping me - I thereafter only saw
> advisers as absolutely required by school guidelines.  I question whether
> this would have happened to a male.
>
> 2. When I resigned from a technical consulting position for another
> opportunity (2005), I had multiple VPs trying to coax me into staying (all
> male).  One, when talking to me, told me he was advising me as if he was my
> father.  Another offered to call my father, convinced that my father might
> join the conversation and help him change my mind.  I doubt these
> approaches would have been used for any of my male peers.  More money and a
> career plan might have had me listening further.  I did not stay with the
> company and did find environments later that were more supportive later.
>
> 3. A fellow technical female, and friend, told me that she hated working
> for women (2007).  They are just too emotional she stated.  Then later she
> told me I was an exception.  Then later she told me that her current female
> boss was an exception.
>
> So why did I get into tech?  I had parents who invested time with me
> growing up ensuring that I did well in math and science along with all
> other subjects.  They had generally high expectations for me.  They
> encouraged me to always ask questions and never feel stupid (this is
> important!).  Most of the long nights of calculus were with my dad's help,
> so I really do not think mentors have to be the same sex - just people who
> take a hands on interest, offer encouragement, and guidance.  This gave me
> a good basis to get into computer science. The higher pay of technical
> professionals compared to others, only further encouraged me to pursue
> computer science.
>
> I suspect that most females do not get the level of support that I had
> within my household. I think most women do not have social expectations
> encouraging them to go into technology.  I also think that for those that
> do go into technology, there will continue to be social barriers.  As women
> currently in technology, we just have to carry on and keep asking for more
> - otherwise expect to get the minimum.  Negotiation is an area where I
> strive to improve.  I have seen that women statistically negotiate better
> when representing a 3rd party compared to men.  Women should know this and
> try to leverage this strategy. I'm open to tips from you fellas too :).
>
> If we want to see more women in technology, I think more people need to
> reset their expectations, and ensure we are encouraging females with higher
> expectations.  Our expectations, more often than we comprehend, drive our
> behaviors.
>
> I encourage any of you to take a stroll through toys-r-us.  Look at the
> "boy toys".  Look at the "girl toys".  You will see very quickly our
> society's expectations for females versus males manifested.
> -- 
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