[TriLUG] Childproofing

[Joseph Mack NA3T]

On Mon, 10 Nov 2014, Ken MacKenzie wrote:

> So as my kids get older and more online I am starting to deal with content
> filtering.

The filtering that worked best for me was leaving the network open (other than a 
firewall on the outside to prevent intrusion). It's 100% reliable.

I remember my son, probably about 14, standing behind me, showing me how to find 
things with tpb or maybe kickasstorrents. The first thing I saw was images 
associated with advertisements that I wasn't prepared for. I looked back at my 
son, showing my surprise. He explained "all these sites have them Dad".

I did log his network usage with rrdtool. The network would have high 
throughput all weekend. I assume he was playing video games. At least that was 
what was on the screen whenever I was in his room. He'd tell me what he was 
doing and what level he was on and what he wanted to do there.

I explained that when I grew up, we didn't have these sorts of things and told 
him what I'd done with my childhood (build electronics, go on hikes with 
Scouts). I said that with him being the first generation to have video games, 
that we didn't know what would come of it as far as preparing him for adulthood. 
However I said that it wasn't obvious to me that it was helpful. I told him that 
he had to choose what to do and I wasn't going to restrict his time playing 
video games as long as he handled his obligations (homework, chores).

I talked to my partner about this, concerned that he would never get a life. She 
shrugged "he'll grow out of it". He did, but it took till he got a life 
elsewhere (he joined the theatre at his school in high school). I spent a lot of 
time in despair in the meantime.

My son had girlfriends on and off from early on and in the house we always 
talked about them like they were a normal part of life. I think my partner 
talked to him more about girls than I did. In early high school he talked to me 
about his interest in girl's bodies. I said that much of the stuff in the media 
he'd encounter was designed to mess with his head to sell things and that if he 
put too much attention into it that it would stop him being able to see females 
as people.

Later, when he was 16 and got a serious gf, I told him that her body was her 
body and he could only do things with it on invitation. I told him to think of 
it as if a friend of his came around with a nice car (say a Maserati). You don't 
ask or expect you'll get to drive it. You just say "nice car". Maybe you'll be 
invited to drive it, maybe you won't. The friend is still a friend no matter 
which option he gives you.

The problem I knew about was the amount of time he spent on video games. The 
problem went away eventually. I don't know if we were lucky or my partner and I 
can take any credit for it. I don't know how much time he spent on porn. If he 
did look at any of it, it doesn't seem to have affected him.

Joe

-- 
Joseph Mack NA3T EME(B,D), FM05lw North Carolina
jmack (at) austintek (dot) com - azimuthal equidistant
map generator at http://www.wm7d.net/azproj.shtml
Homepage http://www.austintek.com/ It's GNU/Linux!