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\title{Monologue from Laughing Wild: Christopher Durang}
%\author{\large \bf Joseph Mack \copyright ~2014}
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%5112 Longwood Dr.				\> Home: (919)-401-2047 \\
%Durham, NC, 27713-8010				\> e-mail: jmack@wm7d.net \\
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\textbf {
Monologue from Laughing Wild: Christopher Durang
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%Monologue from Laughing Wild: Christopher Durang


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\textit{
A woman enters and addresses the audience. 
She is dressed fairly normally.
She sits in a chair and talks to the audience.
She gets up from the chair from time to time
when the spirit moves her.
The backdrop behind her is nondescript 
- pretty much a limbo setting.
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\textbf{
I want to talk to you about life.
It's just too difficult to be alive, isn't it,
and to try to function?
There are all these people to deal with.
I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket,
and there was this 
\textit{
person
}
standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish,
and I waited a while,
to see if they'd move,
and they didn't - 
they were looking at tuna fish too,
but they were taking a real long time on it,
reading the ingredients on each can as if they were a book,
a pretty boring book, if you ask me, but no-one has;
so I waited a long while, 
and they didn't move,
and I couldn't get to the tuna fish cans;
and I thought about asking them to move,
but then they seemed so stupid not to have \textit{sensed}
that I needed to get past them
that I had this awful fear that it would do no good,
no good at all, to ask them,
they'd probably say something like,
"We'll move when we're goddamn ready,
you nagging bitch,"
and then what would I do?
And so then I started to cry out of frustration,
quiety so as not to disturb anyone, 
and still,
even though I was softly sobbing,
the stupid person didn't
\textit{grasp} 
that I needed to get past them to reach the goddamn tunafish,
people are so insensitive,
I just hate them,
and so I reached over with my fist,
and I brought it down real hard on his head and I screamed:
"Would you kindly move asshole!!!".
}

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\textbf{
And the person fell to the ground, 
and looked totally startled,
and some child nearby started to cry,
and I was still crying,
and I couldn't imagine making use of the tuna fish now anyway,
and so I shouted at the child to stop crying 
- I mean,
it was drawing too much attention to me
- and I ran out of the supermarket,
and I thought,
I'll take a taxi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art,
I need to be surrounded by culture right now, 
not tuna fish.
}

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